Finding joy again

I was feeling a bit under the weather, so with great reluctance I skipped my Sunday morning run, filled with trepidation of creating a bad, bad precedent. Obviously I have some trust issues with myself.

Luckily I felt much better on Monday, and when dear hubby came home at night, I seized the moment, and went for a run. And it was remarkably wonderful. My feet felt light as they easily ran along. It made me realize that lately my runs have been hardgoing, my feet heavy and dragging, and instead of joy it was willpower that kept me going.

As I pondered this I realized something else: lately mothering has felt like a bad wrestling match too. Everything has been hard and complicated, nothing light and easy.

But now it seems as if a dark and heavy veil has been lifted: we've found a school for our son Jan, and just one day of rest has done wonders for my tired body.

It's funny how you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but it's even funnier how you don't know what you've lost until you find it again.

Which for me, right now, is joy and happiness.